” You’ll meet two kinds of people in this life, the ones who tear you down, and the ones who build you up, in the end you will thank them both.”
I just love this quote and have seen it a number of times on social media and there is so much truth in it. While reading Girl, Wash Your Face, on the elliptical at the gym, it got me thinking. What if one of those people in our lives is ourselves. What if WE are the tearing ourselves down. OUCH.
In Rachel’s book she focuses each chapter on the lies we tell ourselves. In chapter 10 she focuses on the lie that we think or feel we should be further along in life than we are by now. I know I have fallen victim to this lie and still find some days that I’m trying to keep up with a version of myself that is impossible to achieve. Even worse comparing my life journey with someone else’s. I have learned to give myself grace and focus on the little things I can do each day that will compound into big things over time.
I loved her analogy about a baby girl taking her first steps and realize we would never do this to our own child. So why do we do it to ourselves?
“Imagine a little baby taking her first step. She’s joyful and chubby and she’s been balancing in place without holding on to the coffee table for weeks now. Finally, finally, she takes her first coltish stumble from the relative safety of the side table, then wobbles across the perils of the living room rug to grasp the edge of the sofa. She gets there and looks up at you with elation and pride and so much excitement. Now imagine you give her a quick, brittle smile and demand, ” Yes, Chole, that’s fine, but why aren’t you running by now?”
“Can you imagine the dismay that baby girl would feel? What kind of parent has that kind of reaction to a child who’s just learning to do something new? It would be unheard of for a mother to react so harshly, to judge a baby on what she hasn’t yet had the time or life experience to figure out. And yet….and yet we do it to ourselves all the time” -Rachel Hollis
So how do we break the lie that we tell ourselves that we should be further along than we are? Here are 3 easy tips that have worked for me.
- Stop comparing your journey to others. As Rachel says in her book “Comparison is the death of all joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.” Instead of comparing where you are to others, focus each day on the steps you can take toward your personal goals.
2. Celebrate each victory. No matter how big or small your sucesses are, make sure to celebrate each one. Stop and really give yourself credit and a pat on the back for achieving what you just accomplished.
3. Reflect on your progress. We all know writing down our goals is so important to achieving them and bringing them to life. I also love to stop and reflect on how much progress I have made over the past week, month or year. This doesn’t mean beating myself up over mistakes I have made or goals that I didn’t hit. What it actually does is gives me a clear picture of the reality of what I have been able to achieve and reminds me where I am along my journey to my ultimate goals. ” Learning without reflection is a waste, reflection without learning is dangerous.” -Confucius
Just like a mother would cheer on her baby girl for taking her first steps and celebrate that as a huge success and milestone, give yourself the same love. You are exactly where you are supposed to be on your journey.
Xoxo Heather Ventura